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It was a typical day in the Underworld, the realm of Hades, when the unimaginable happened—Cerberus, the fearsome three-headed hound that guarded the gates, went missing. The dark corridors echoed with the frantic shouts of shades and the flustered whispers of lesser gods. Hades, usually calm and collected, was pacing his throne room with a deep furrow in his brow.
“Zagreus!” Hades’ voice boomed, reverberating through the stone walls. “Get in here, now!”
Zagreus, the rebellious and adventurous son of Hades, hurried in, trying not to smile at his father’s obvious distress. “Yes, Father? What’s wrong?”
Hades glared at him, clearly not in the mood for his usual nonchalance. “Cerberus is missing. You need to find him and bring him back. The gates of the Underworld cannot remain unguarded.”
“Missing?” Zagreus repeated, a grin spreading across his face. “The big guy? How does Cerberus just…go missing?”
“That’s what I need you to find out,” Hades snapped. “And stop smiling. This is serious.”
Zagreus straightened up, suppressing his amusement. “Alright, Father. I’ll find him. Any clues on where he might have gone?”
Hades handed him a chewed-up bone. “This was found near the entrance to Elysium. Start there and work your way back.”
Zagreus took the bone, nodded, and set off. As he made his way through the Underworld, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Cerberus, the mighty guardian, getting lost. The first stop was Elysium, the final resting place of the blessed souls.
Upon entering Elysium, Zagreus was greeted by the sight of souls enjoying eternal bliss—playing, laughing, and relaxing. It was hard to imagine that somewhere in this paradise, a massive three-headed dog was causing trouble.
“Hey, Zagreus!” called out Achilles, the legendary hero. “What brings you here?”
Zagreus approached Achilles, holding up the bone. “Cerberus is missing. Have you seen him around here?”
Achilles scratched his head. “You know, I did see something strange earlier. There was a commotion near the fields, but I thought it was just some spirited souls having fun.”
“Thanks, Achilles. I’ll check it out.”
Following the commotion, Zagreus found himself at the edge of a field where a group of shades were gathered, looking rather puzzled. In the middle of the group was Cerberus, or rather, two-thirds of him. One of his heads was busily chewing on a giant bone, the second head was licking the face of an amused shade, and the third head was sniffing around, clearly enjoying the attention.
“Seriously, Cerberus?” Zagreus said, trying not to laugh. “You’re supposed to be guarding the gates, not attending a picnic.”
Cerberus’s middle head looked up, tongue lolling out happily. The other two heads followed suit, one still chewing on its bone. Zagreus sighed and approached his pet.
“Alright, buddy, let’s go. Father is worried sick.”
Cerberus whined and reluctantly stood up, all three heads looking apologetically at the shades. They patted him goodbye, and Zagreus began to lead him back toward the gates.
As they walked through Asphodel, the fiery fields that separated Elysium from the rest of the Underworld, Zagreus encountered Thanatos, the god of death. Thanatos raised an eyebrow at the sight of Cerberus.
“Zagreus, what are you doing with Cerberus?”
“He decided to go on a little adventure,” Zagreus explained. “I’m bringing him back.”
Thanatos smirked. “Adventurous as ever. Good luck.”
Continuing through Asphodel, Zagreus noticed Cerberus starting to slow down. He glanced back and saw the dog’s heads drooping. It seemed the excitement had worn him out.
“Come on, Cerberus, just a bit further.”
Finally, they reached the gates of the Underworld. Hades was waiting, arms crossed and looking impatient. When he saw Cerberus, his stern expression softened slightly.
“You found him,” Hades said, relief evident in his voice. “Good job, Zagreus.”
“Yeah, well, he was enjoying a bit of a holiday in Elysium,” Zagreus replied, patting Cerberus on one of his heads. “Maybe you should give him a day off every now and then.”
Hades sighed, shaking his head. “We’ll see. For now, Cerberus, back to your post.”
Cerberus obediently took his place by the gates, but not before giving Zagreus a grateful lick with all three tongues.
As Zagreus walked away, he couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the day. Even in the Underworld, it seemed, everyone needed a break now and then—even the fearsome guardian of the gates.
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