Beard Trouble on Olympus

By Ramone Misfit on September 21, 2024

Beard Trouble on Olympus

Poseidon god of the sea

It was a quiet morning on Mount Olympus, and while most gods enjoyed their eternal routines, Poseidon was feeling a little out of place. Sure, the sea god ruled over oceans, horses, and earthquakes, but today he found himself lounging on a cloud just outside Zeus’s palace, bored beyond belief.

He twirled his trident absentmindedly, staring at the endless expanse of sky, waiting for something—anything—to happen. As much as he loved his deep-blue kingdom, sometimes even gods needed a change of pace. And so here he was, on Olympus, hoping to stir up some excitement.

As if on cue, Hermes came zipping by, landing with his usual flash of mischief in his eyes. “Poseidon! What’s this? You, on Olympus? Out of your element, aren’t you?”

Poseidon smirked. “Even gods need a break from the sea, Hermes. Not that you’d know, with all that flitting about. What’s the gossip today?”

Hermes leaned in with a grin. “You won’t believe it. Zeus is having a crisis—again.”

Poseidon rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, he’s annoyed at the mortals for not sacrificing enough goats, or Ares is going on about how war isn’t as glamorous as it used to be.”

“Worse,” Hermes said, struggling to keep a straight face. “Zeus has lost his—wait for it—beard comb.”

Poseidon sat up, laughing. “His beard comb? That old thing? What’s he so worked up about?”

“Oh, you know how he is with appearances. Thunder god or not, Zeus spends more time grooming that beard than he does managing his thunderclouds. He’s convinced someone stole it. He’s been interrogating everyone.”

Poseidon raised an eyebrow. “Stolen? Surely no one’s daft enough to swipe Zeus’s precious comb.”

Hermes grinned. “Well, rumor has it, it’s somewhere down in your domain. Maybe it’s tangled up in a kelp forest.”

Poseidon laughed heartily. “So now the mighty Zeus thinks I’ve hidden his comb in the sea? As if I have time for such petty pranks.”

Hermes shrugged. “All I’m saying is, Zeus is fuming. He’s pacing the throne room, muttering about how he can’t let anyone see him without his beard perfectly groomed.”

Poseidon rubbed his chin, deep in thought. “You know what? This could be fun.”

“Fun?” Hermes said, perking up. “You’re not planning to mess with Zeus, are you?”

Poseidon stood up, twirling his trident. “Oh, I wouldn’t call it ‘messing with.’ I’d call it… enhancing the situation.”

Hermes’s grin widened. “I like where this is going.”

A little while later, Poseidon made his way to Zeus’s palace. Inside, he could hear his brother’s unmistakable voice echoing down the marble halls.

“WHERE IS IT?! I know someone’s hiding it! I demand answers!”

Poseidon strolled in casually, watching as Zeus ranted at a group of terrified minor gods. Athena was there too, standing off to the side, looking unimpressed.

“Brother,” Poseidon called out, his voice booming across the hall. “You look… well, flustered.”

Zeus turned around, his eyes wide with frustration. “Flustered? FLUSTERED?! I am beyond flustered, Poseidon! Someone has stolen my beard comb, and I cannot find it anywhere!”

Poseidon tried to keep a straight face. “Your beard comb, you say? That’s a tragedy. I mean, your beard is… well… a bit on the wild side.”

Zeus’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. “I KNOW! Do you see why I need it?”

Poseidon stepped forward, inspecting Zeus’s unruly beard. “Hmm. Yes, it’s rather… unkempt. You might say it’s almost… mortal-like.”

Zeus’s jaw dropped. “MORTAL?! Poseidon, how dare you compare me to those hairless apes!”

Poseidon smiled innocently. “I’m just saying, Zeus, perhaps it’s a sign. Maybe you should go for a new look. Clean-shaven, perhaps?”

Zeus gasped in horror. “Clean-shaven? Have you gone mad? My beard is a symbol of my power!”

“Power, you say?” Poseidon tapped his chin. “But if your comb is gone, maybe the beard is too much of a hassle. I mean, look at Hermes. He gets by just fine without all that facial hair.”

“Don’t bring me into this,” Hermes chimed in from the sidelines, trying not to laugh.

Zeus glared at Poseidon. “I will find my comb. And when I do, I’ll have the last laugh.”

Poseidon grinned. “Oh, I’m sure you will. But in the meantime, I hear Athena knows a thing or two about hair styling. Perhaps she can help you tame it.”

Athena raised an eyebrow, stepping forward with a sigh. “I am the goddess of wisdom, not the goddess of beard grooming. But I can certainly attempt to restore some dignity to your appearance, Zeus.”

Zeus crossed his arms. “Fine. But this is temporary. I’ll find my comb, and when I do, things will return to normal.”

Poseidon chuckled. “Of course, brother. But if you need any seaweed treatments for that beard, just let me know. I’ve heard they work wonders for adding volume.”

Zeus scowled. “Enough with the jokes, Poseidon.”

The next morning, Zeus sat on his throne, looking somewhat presentable after Athena’s makeshift beard-styling efforts. His hair was still a bit frizzy, but at least it wasn’t sticking out in every direction. Poseidon, meanwhile, was sitting nearby, enjoying the show as Zeus mumbled to himself about vengeance and stolen property.

Suddenly, Hera entered the hall, holding something small and shiny in her hand.

“Zeus,” she said, “I found this under the bed.”

She tossed the object toward him, and there it was—the beard comb.

Zeus’s eyes widened in disbelief. “It was under the bed this whole time?!”

Hera smirked. “Seems so. Perhaps if you spent less time threatening the other gods and more time looking for your things, this wouldn’t have been such a crisis.”

Zeus sat back, looking sheepish and humbled. “I… I suppose I might have overreacted.”

Poseidon burst out laughing. “Overreacted? Brother, you nearly declared war on half of Olympus over a comb! I think we can safely say you very much overreacted.”

Zeus, still holding his beloved comb, muttered under his breath. “I’m going to have to create an earthquake just to calm myself down after all this.”

“Careful now,” Poseidon said with a wink. “That’s my domain. Maybe you should stick to thunderbolts for a while.”

Zeus shook his head, finally chuckling. “Alright, Poseidon, you win this round. But next time I misplace something, I’ll know who to call.”

“Just don’t lose the thunderbolts,” Poseidon said with a grin. “The last thing we need is you tearing apart Olympus over missing lightning.”

Zeus grumbled. “Don’t give me any ideas.”

And so Poseidon waved his brother goodbye, feeling satisfied. As much as he loved causing storms and shaping the seas, nothing quite matched the chaos of messing with Zeus. After all, who needed an earthquake when you could shake Olympus with a good laugh instead?

Relax and boost your creativity with my coloring book: Psychedelic Pegasus Adult Coloring Book

Support me via my Etsy stores!

Take a peek because why not?

Olympus Panda Apparel

AWESOMELY SOFT ECO-FRIENDLY T-SHIRTS!

Serene Horizon Prints

Beautiful Digital printable art!

Author

Ramone Misfit is my pen name as an author, writer, and musician. I write this blog with the goal to raise funds so that I can achieve freedom to play music every day! When you support me it helps me care for my family, cats, and it allows me to get closer to fulfilling my goal one day at a time. Thank you for visiting my site!

Thanks for stopping by and have an awesome day!

Thanks for visiting✌️